Forget about toilet paper, we are panic-buying dildos now

If you think you have seen it all think again. After toilet papers became the number one essential material for survival around the world during the COVID-19 outbreak, I thought it could not get worse than that. Apparently, I was wrong. People around the world are now stocking-up on dildos.

Since social distancing became the new normal around mid-march, dating and casual hook-ups were instantly replaced by dildos. It is a much safer option than meeting someone in person. Whether it is someone you are meeting for the first time or just getting to third base with, dildos are safer. A realistic twist in 2020 dating reality I would say, but what does this turn in events mean?

Shocking numbers

In the United States alone there are more than 110 million people who are divorced, widowed, or have always been single. Not to mention of course people in long-distance relationships. Now how does that reflect on dildo sales during an outbreak? One company alone Emojibator, a company that sells sex toys resembling iPhone emojis has reported a 225% spike in sales between the first and second weeks of March. That was before it was declared a pandemic.

Oh Canada!

Moreover, Womanizer, a sex toys online company that operates worldwide, and most popular in Europe, North America and China has reported a more interesting sale’s figures. Countries, of course, differs in sale numbers. But interestingly hard-hit countries like China and Italy did not top the list. According to Womanizer’s sale numbers reported between the beginning of January until March 6th, 2020, Canada came on top of the list with a 135% boost in sales. China who has been struggling with the outbreak since December 2019 was up 71%. And while Italy saw a 60% increase, the UK was up only 13%. Those numbers were reported before Canada started practicing social distancing and before China, Italy, and the UK enforced nation-wide lockdowns. So I can only imagine how much bigger the numbers are now.

Essential items?

Amazon, the largest online shopping outlet worldwide has announced in March it will focus on “essential” product availability and shipments like toilet papers, hand sanitizers, and disinfecting wipes. However, “essential” products on Amazon are all out of stock or available in extremely and unbelievably high prices. After positive cases of COVID-19 were reported at Amazon’s Romulus order fulfillment center in Detroit, MI where more than 4,000 people employed, workers were demanding a clearer description of “essential”. Warehouse workers at the Romulus center walked out the end of March to protest their working conditions and said: “dildos are not essential items”. unsurprisingly though, the wealth of Amazon owner, Jeff Bezos has increased 2.35 billion since the beginning of 2020.

you can always use a hand

we can agree or disagree on what is essential and what is not during these unpredictable times, but we cannot deny the fact that humans are the most creative. I was surprised researching what a human hand has created since the beginning of time. Airplanes, submarines, tanks, spaceships, satellites… etc. all this power is in your hand, use it. You will be surprised by what can you do with it and how far you can reach. Whether you are a man, a woman, or any gender you choose to be you could use a hand. And as a friend once said:

“if you do not have a good partner you better have a good hand”

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Written by
Mohammad Haj Ali
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